If you want to come in my tepee, you can’t. Unless you’ve got the right clothes on. Go away and find some feathers because you can’t have a headdress without them. And a skirt. Boy Indians wear skirts, those leather ones with a fringe. What’s the matter? Afraid I’ll laugh at your legs? I’ve seen them before, you know. Okay, so I laughed then but I promise I won’t do it now. Honest. I know, Dad’s chamois leather will do the job. Go and get some scissors and we’ll cut a fringe on your skirt. Arrows. You need arrows. You can’t be an Indian without arrows, can you? Go and find some long sticks and some more feathers for the ends. We won’t be allowed a knife or anything but we could always use the scissors to cut the sticks up. Make sure they’re really big ones. There are some over there on the rubbish heap. No, don’t worry about snakes. I told you I was only joking about the snakes. In any case, you’re only going to be taking the sticks from the top of the pile. If there was anything living underneath it, they wouldn’t even notice. Don’t look so scared, it’s only a pile of sticks and rubbish. When you’ve done that, you’ll have to go and get some face paints. You know the ones Mum had for the school fete? They’re in the cupboard in the kitchen. You’ll have to stand on the chair to get them and make sure there are no grown-ups in the kitchen when you get them. Of course they won’t find out if you’re quiet. Remember to pick the chair up, don’t drag it across the floor. Hurry up then, do as I said or I won’t let you be Chief.