Wednesday, 9 April 2008

The Eighth Deadly Sin

I have my own science. If you look up into the sky, you will see masses of cotton wool hanging there. Now, you might be wondering how it stays there. The answer is that it is attached to fine threads, so fine that sometimes pilots can’t see them and they break them with their wings. Anyway, up to one hundred threads may be holding the cotton wool in place. The other end of each piece of thread is tied to the moon. Obviously, the moon moves around and takes the cotton wood from one side of the world to another. The consequence of this is that eventually, the cotton wool disintegrates through wear and tear. It becomes especially brittle in the winter months. At this time, it also takes on a greyish tinge. But this is only an illusion; when it finally breaks down to the extent that the threads can no longer support its weight, gravity (see my forthcoming paper on this subject), small pieces – ‘flakes’, although I’m not entirely happy with this terminology – fall from the sky and land on the ground. If you want to carry out your own research on these occasions, I would suggest that the following apparatus would be useful: a piece of coal, a carrot, a woolly hat and a scarf. It is advisable, in the interests of health and safety, to wear thick rubber boots and a pair of gloves. You see, even though the cotton wool has broken down, when you try to roll it up into a ball, some of its properties will remain such as absorbing dog poo from the grass. Don’t worry that you won’t be able to feel the cotton wool through the boots; you will, especially when it has freshly fallen and that unique squeakiness when compressed by a weight will still be in evidence. You see, evidence is crucial otherwise we fall into the realms of creativity. Creativity, the eighth deadly sin; not being able to see things for what they are.

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