Sunday, 10 February 2008

And now for something completely different....

Yes, it’s more than 300 words and no, it’s not fiction either. Just for today.

Today has been a bit of a messy day. I was up for a large part of last night scraping vomit off a carpet, partially awake for the rest of the time listening for my eldest son to come home from clubbing in Brighton (it was five o’clock when he eventually rolled in) and up again at 6.50am at the request of my youngest. I had to prepare roast beef to be ready for midday, complete with Yorkshire pudding and apple crumble and eating it so early was like having it for breakfast. Needless to say that I didn’t feel particularly cheery or enthusiastic about cooking after my nocturnal exploits. I threw away the first lot of gravy because of its resemblance to the aforementioned vomit, announced that today was definitely going to be a ‘thin gravy day’ and started again. Apart from that, the meal was ready on time and was surprisingly nice; because I had been half asleep during its preparation, it was as if someone else had cooked it for me. Therefore, although I wouldn’t recommend clearing up vomit as an enjoyable way to spend your weekend, there are some potential benefits to be had from this pastime.

The reason that we had to eat so early was that I had to drive my eldest son back to uni as he has just spent ‘reading week’ at home. I, personally, have loads of reading to do for my own studies and can’t face it today; firstly, I am too tired having just driven a three-hour round trip to Eastbourne following some lovely diversions via Alfriston which isn’t built for two cars not going in the same direction and back via Lewes and secondly, I am worried sick about my term paper results. Perhaps I should go clubbing too. Also I just know that I won’t be able to concentrate and that my powers of reasoning are fading. Today’s Yahoo Headlines: Costelloe kicks off fashion week, Eton head calls for exams overhaul, Carey attacks Sharia law comments. Just tell me this: since when did pop stars have such a say in what goes on in the world?

On a positive note, the dog hasn’t urinated on the floor today. Tomorrow is another day.

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